how can u be prego again
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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