I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think people are normalizing furries
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
