kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
