I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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