I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
