I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
