I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
whose parrot is this?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
