Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
