Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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