So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
