wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
