Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
