Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
