Best friends brother. Beat that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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