yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
