Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
