Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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