so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
