Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
