so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
