I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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