Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
