What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Semen is not good for contacts.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Randomize