Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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