rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
