She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
