it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
