Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
