is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
