just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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