just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
