I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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