It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
