"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
