apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
