you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
