so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
