i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
