wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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