Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
