doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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