Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
