We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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