Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In America we eat man semen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
