did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
