Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
