I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
