Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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