If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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