Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
