If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
