Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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