At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
