GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize