Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
