i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Are my feet made of real feet?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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