um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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