I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Houston, we have a squirter
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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