my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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