the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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