just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
